It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by CreativelyNumb
Summary: My first songfic. CS pairing. It's all coming back to me now by Celine Dion.


**This is my first ever attempt at Songfic so please be gentle. Reviews would be much loved and appreciated so I know how I did. Thanks.**

_There were nights when the wind was so cold  
That my body froze in bed  
If I just listened to it  
Right outside the window  
There were days when the sun was so cruel  
That all the tears turned to dust  
And I just knew my eyes were  
Drying up forever_

When I fell in love with Sara Sidle 4 years ago, I knew it would be anything but easy, I never expected just how hard it could be. She could be the warmest, most romantic person one moment, and in the next cold, distant. When it was good, it was really good, when it was bad, well, when it was bad it was hell. She could cut me so deeply with her words and yet make me feel like a queen all at the same time. There was no option other than loving her.

_I finished crying in the instant that you left  
And I can't remember where or when or how  
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made_

When she left Vegas it was like a piece of my soul was being ripped apart, but at the same time I knew the tears would be over. No more sleepless nights wondering where she was and if she was safe, no more feeling like I was beating my head against a brick wall trying to get through to her, and no more remembering how similar it was to my marriage to Eddie. Or so I believed.

_But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me  
When I touch you like this  
And I hold you like that  
It's so hard to believe but  
It's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)_

I remember the night she showed up on my doorstep like it was yesterday. It had been six months since she had left, and I truly thought I was over her. Seeing her standing there though, well, that changed everything. We didn't speak, she just kissed me and it felt like everything that had happened before was non existent. I let her in. Both my home and my heart.__

There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things I'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than any laws allow  
Baby Baby

Slowly we made our way to the bedroom. I felt her hands follow the familiar path of my body. It was like nothing had ever happened. I felt her lips on every part of my body, heard our laboured breathing as we worked to bring each other over that edge. She knew every place, and just how to touch me. She's the only one that's ever made me see stars, explosions and fireworks all at once.

_If I kiss you like this  
And if you whisper like that  
It was lost long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
If you want me like this  
And if you need me like that  
It was dead long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
It's so hard to resist  
And it's all coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now  
But it's all coming back_

As we made love, every good thing about her flooded through my head. Image after image and I remembered how good being with her could feel…

__

There were those empty threats and hollow lies  
And whenever you tried to hurt me  
I just hurt you even worse  
And so much deeper  
There were hours that just went on for days  
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances  
That were lost to us forever

But then I remembered the fighting, and the arguments and how easily she could hurt me, and how I always retaliated by hurting her, how sometimes the slightest thing could set her off and she'd leave and stay out all night leaving me to worry.

_But you were history with the slamming of the door  
And I made myself so strong again somehow  
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then_

And when she left Vegas I swore I would never, ever let her back in…

_But if I touch you like this  
And if you kiss me like that  
It was so long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
If you touch me like this  
And if I kiss you like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)_

How could something that feels so good, feel so bad at the same time? I love her. The feelings are flooding me. Having her laying in our bed beside me again, I never want to let her go…

_There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things we'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than all your laws allow  
Baby, Baby, Baby_

_When you touch me like this  
And when you hold me like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
Then we see what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now_

Can't I just stay here, like this, forever?

_If you forgive me all this  
If I forgive you all that  
We forgive and forget  
And it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
We see just what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now_

I realize I can't let her go. Even if she breaks my heart again, I don't care. It hurts too much to not be with her.

_(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when you kiss me like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when I touch you like that  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
If you do it like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And if we…_

I Catherine Willows, will always and forever love Sara Sidle.


End file.
